How to complain constructively - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

How to complain constructively - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog Last week I wrote about chronic complainers at work and what to do about them. Now, I dont want anyone to think that Im opposed to complaining as such. Complaining can be a great tool for initiating change and if we outlaw complaining in the workplace, as some managers try to do, all we do is drive it underground where it becomes even more toxic. So we should accept that complaining plays an important role in business, but the key thing here is to know the difference between constructive and unconstructive complaining. Here are some of the differences: Unconstructive: Complain about what bugs you the most Constructive: Complain about the right thing Is the problem really the problem? Or is there a deeper issue going on? Complain about the problem, not just the symptoms. Unconstructive: Complain when you feel the most annoyed Constructive: Complain at the right time There are times to complain and times not to. Choose a moment where theres time, will and energy to deal constructively with the issue. Five minutes before an important meeting starts is probably not the time. Unconstructive: Complain to whoever will listen Constructive: Complain to someone who can do something about it If your boss is the problem, complaining to your co-workers can be a lot of fun, but it changes nothing. Complain to your boss or to the bosss boss. Unconstructive: Point fingers. Constructive: Look at yourself first. Maybe its just you who has a problem and everyone else is fine with the situation? Try to recognize those situations where everything is actually fine youre just being irrationally annoyed (happens to me all the time). Also: To what extent are you a part of the problem? How are you contributing to either the problem or to the solution? Before complaining about others, make sure you know what your role in the issue is. Unconstructive: Seek blame Constructive: Seek solutions Going in with the intention of making people admit theyre at fault is rarely productive. Does it really matter whose fault it is? Forget blame and focus on moving on and finding lasting solutions. Unconstructive: Only complain Constructive: Also appreciate whats good Complain when theres a reason to, but remember to appreciate the good stuff also dont just always complain. Did I forget anything? Add your thoughts in the comments! Basically, constructive complaining leads to change whereas the unconstructive variety traps a workplace in the status quo by zapping everyones energy, optimism and belief that change is possible. And that may be part of the attraction of unconstructive complaining: It reinforces a bad situation, but its a bad situation you know and have learned to deal with. At the same time it reinforces the status quo and protects you from change that might bring new problems you dont yet know how to handle. Theres an amount of safety and comfort in it. But to my mind, unconstructive complaining is a tar-pit that can eventually trap even the sunniest, most optimistic person in a sticky hell of perpetual, ineffectual and often petty dissatisfaction from which people arent really seeking a way out. Thats why we need to be able to break away from the moan-mentality at work and make sure that we complain in a way that makes change happen. Ie. constructively. If you liked this post Im pretty sure youll also enjoy these: How to handle chronic complainers How to handle jerks at work Thanks for visiting my blog. If you're new here, you should check out this list of my 10 most popular articles. And if you want more great tips and ideas you should check out our newsletter about happiness at work. It's great and it's free :-)Share this:LinkedInFacebookTwitterRedditPinterest Related